Disorganized Crime
by Mental Incapacity
Summary: Edward Elric, big shot gangster needs to outsource some muscle and so he hits up team mustang. gonna probably update inconsistently.
1. chapter 1

Edward Elric knew that enlightenment was possible.

He knew that knowledge for knowledge's sake was an attainable goal.

He came to this conclusion in the milliseconds after The Truth released him from the gate but before It took his little brother from him forever.

Edward looked over to see that where his little brother had been standing now lay a shirt, a pair of shorts, and one glittering incisor.

Ed looked to the center with a sense of dread.

There, where he knew it was too good to be true, was a silhouette clouded by smoke and the dust that was once his dear younger brother.

"M-mom..."

A sound between a cough and a scream emitted from the silhouette as the smoke parted to reveal a disfigured body that could under no circumstances be called human.

 **Five years later**

Sitting in a bar off the busiest street in the business district of Central sat a young man with long braided hair and sunglasses.

He wouldn't have stood out from the crowd had he not been surveying the place since he'd arrived.

Outside in the lot was a group carefully observing the blond man from the safety of a military surveillance van.

One individual in the van, looking to be anywhere from between his late twenties or early thirties with disheveled black hair and black eyes, was watching as his team fiddled about with knobs and dials.

"We have our mission and we know this is the right guy, so all we have to do is pin him. Do we have our plant?"

"We just sent him in," a blonde woman with sharp eyes responded coolly.

Meanwhile, a man with auburn hair and broad shoulders walked into the bar purposefully, a grey metal suitcase slung over his left shoulder.

The blond man in sunglasses took note of his arrival and left through the back entrance.

They met in the back alley behind the bar, Auburn arriving five minutes after the blond holding a tall glass.

The blond man led the other into another building's backroom before locking the door behind them.

Two men, significantly taller than either of the aforementioned men, were clearly waiting for them as they grabbed Auburn by the shoulders and roughly forced him into a metal chair at a metal table.

"Who do you work for?" The blond demanded.

"No one, man! I just brought the stuff you asked for!"

The sound of footsteps came from outside the door leading from the room and one of the large men perked up and stared to the door.

BANG! BANG!

"THIS IS THE CENTRAL CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT! WE HAVE THE BUILDING SURROUNDED! EXIT CALMLY AND WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"

"Zampano, go five doors down the hall and turn left. Dial the numbers 56289735 into the keypad. Leave through the roof. We'll meet up at the regular place. Darius, take care of the ginger."

One of the taller men, presumably Zampano, ran down the hall while the other, Darius, turned to the captive, raising a small metal bat.

The blond exited the room as a short scream was stifled behind him as he climbed a ladder followed by Darius who was carrying something heavy over his shoulder.

Back in the van chaos was erupting

"Goddamnit, Riza where is Havoc," The Black haired man asked the blonde woman from earlier.

"I don't know sir we lost the signal, but he should be coming back soon, we've got the building surrounded and-

 **BANG**

The roof of the van caved in as something heavy landed on it.

The sound of a helicopter taking off filled the air as well as the sound of cement splintering and screams.


	2. chapter 2

Edward wasn't well adjusted. He had had many hours to reflect upon this when he was rehabilitating from the automail surgery.

He had spent four and a half years wondering why He had failed.

And then one day a visitor arrived at Rockbell's automail shop. He had long blonde hair like Edwards and his eyes were covered by glasses.

Edward felt a familiarity towards the visitor.

He asked to speak to Ed and, against the Rockbell's protests, Ed agreed.

The man introduced himself as William Winston and told Edward that he was very important.

Edward of course didn't buy it, saying he had made a huge mistake and couldn't be important.

William shook his head and smiled, telling Edward that it was because of this mistake that he was important.

They talked about a lot of things that day and at the end of it William gave Ed a card with a number and a central address telling Ed that's where he could reach him if he wanted to.

Edward called him a week later from the train station. He was going to Central.

What did the Doc say?" A dark haired man asked his second best sharpshooter in the second floor of central city's best veterans hospital.

"Good afternoon to you too Roy." The man seemed unconcerned lighting a cigarette.

"Jean, what did the doctor say?" Roy asked again.

Jean looked up, eyes betraying his carefree affect.

"When I landed on your van a piece of glass broke from the windshield and severed my spinal column. The doctor says I'll never walk again."

Roy fell back into a chair next to Jean's bed. "What about automail? We can send you to rush valley and, and…" he trailed off looking at his friend with clear distress.

"It's not the limbs. It's the spine. They don't have automail spines yet… Roy you should head back to the office and look into getting a replacement."

Roy didn't feel right about leaving one or his men out to dry.

"Well isn't there something they can do? Aren't there treatments?"

Jean sighed.

"Listen Roy. Drop it. Anyway" he smirked, "It's gotten me some luck with the ladies. Maybe I'll introduce you to my new girl Martel."

Roy smiled weakly. "Maybe Jean. I'll visit again soon."

"What the hell happened out there Roy?" Maes Hughes questioned his best friend.

"Maes, now isn't the time. I have to screen these applicants, I need a new surveillance van, and I need a source on this goddamn Elric." Roy responded.

Maes took a step back.

"Geez Roy, you know, I think all this Elric business is stressing you out." Roy looked at Maes like a madman, "I think you need a break. Go play a few games of chess with Grumman or work on your memoir. Hell, give ol Jean a visit. How long's it been since you checked up on him?"

"It's been a week Maes. All he wanted to talk about was his goddamn girlfriend. Some girl named Martel, who I was gonna ask you about by the way. Could you have a look into her? I doubt it's a problem but you know how Havoc is. I don't want him getting hurt."

Maes nodded sagely.

"I'll do that. But only if you come over to my house tonight. Gracia is making her quiche and I know how much you love that."

Roy's stomach growled and he nodded In agreement.

"Splendid, then I've got to go but you take care, alright Roy? And good luck with your applicants." Maes walked out of the room, holding Roy's mug in his right hand and his pen in his left.

Edward walked into The Devil's Nest and sat at the bar.

He surveyed the scene.

Two of his men were there, a man by the name of William and a boy named Nash.

Behind the bar stood a taller man with a large body and white hair.

Rhoa.

"I need to talk to greed" he told the bartender.

"Whoa kid, you don't even look old enough to be in here, let alone talking to the boss." Rhoa grinned down at Edward.

Ed looked the man in his eyes and smiled.

"My name is Edward Elric. I will kill you and eat your children if you do not let me speak to Greed right now." He stood up to his full height, two feet shorter than Rhoa and smiled deeper. "Am I understood?"

Rhoa immediately opened the door to behind the bar and made himself as small as possible.

Ed shoved past him and made his way to the room at the end of the hall.

Ed walked in to find a dorky looking man with a hand tattoo and a vest. He was also wearing a black, form fitting tank top, and a pair of round glasses.

Two people were talking to him.

A skinny red haired girl with a pixie cut, and a broad shouldered man in a robe. Strapped to the latters side was a samurai sword.

Edward entered the room fully expecting to be attacked on sight.

As he walked towards the desk, the man in the robe, Dolcetto, reached for his sword.

The man behind the desk held up his hand and Dolcetto let his hand fall to his side

Edward noticed the gesture and nodded.

"Hello Greed. You're probably wondering why I'm here." At this Greed nodded and the two people in the room nodded subconsciously as well.

"Hmm yeah but I don't think I'll be wondering long, now will I?" Greed responded.

"You probably won't do anything much longer unless you listen to what I say." Ed growled. "As I was saying, I'm here on behalf of someone who shall remain nameless who would like your appearance at once."

Greed said nothing.

"I can't continue without verbal approval or disapproval." Ed said, flashing a smile.

"Yes fine he can" Greed said.

"He can what?" Ed asked, still smiling.

Greed sighed. "He can have my appearance." He said finally.

"He will be ecstatic to hear that."

In walked William, holding the decapitated head of Rhoa.

He tossed it to Dolcetto, who caught it.

"Little brother, Father has been looking for you." 'William' said, changing into his preferred form. His hair lengthened into points and his shirt shortened to just above his ribs and his pants transformed into a short skirt.

Nash walked in, brandishing what looked like a lantern as well as a large, reptile-like tail.

They were both covered in blood.

Dolcetto finally got over his shock long enough to drop the head in disgust.

Greed looked everything over before getting up.

He looked as if he was going to say something but instead he just took off his vest.

Edward knew what was coming.

"William. Get him." He told the spiky haired one while he stepped back.

Greed had become covered in a black substance and Edward didn't want to be in the room when he unleashed himself.

William rushed forward and tackled Greed.

Ed walked out of the room, Nash walking behind him.

"Burn this place to the ground." Edward told Nash who brandished the lantern in his hand and pointed it towards a wall.

A flash of red light issued from the lantern and the wall In front of them burst into flame.

Edward nodded his head and calmly, the two left the bar in William's capable hands.

_

Riza Hawkeye was looking at the applicants for Jeans position and she found someone who really stood out.

The boy in the photograph had a sharp chin and mischievous purple eyes. He had black hair and looked like he might be part Xingese.

He also had a sharp nose and in the photograph he was wearing a headband.

She set the file off to the side.

Roy Mustang didn't really know what to think about the people that Lieutenant Hawkeye had decided would be good replacements.

A few were obvious choices, like Nash Tringham, who was the son of a former state alchemist and one of the smartest minds of his generation.

But there were a few that he found curious.

Like William August Winston.

The name itself was ridiculous but really the only thing that stood out about him was his military record.

He decided that those two would go into the interview pile.

"Feury!" He yelled out.

"What is it sir?" The young man asked.

"I need you to call these two and set up appointments but we can get to that in a bit, I want you to tell me about the briefcase bug we left with Elric. Come on Feury, I need good news."

Feury looked down in embarrassment.

"Well sir, it seems that Elric has kept it in an area that is bug proof. We are keeping eyes on it so if we get a ping on it , you'll be the first to know."

Mustang pressed his palm to his nose.

"Fine go make those phone calls, I have work I need to do."

Feury left the room with the files in hand, leaving Mustang to mope.

Edward was contemplating whether he should lay low until Mustang calmed down.

He was very near deciding what exactly he should do when someone knocked three times on the door to the storage locker he was contemplating in.

He wasn't as surprised as he felt he should be, considering the only person who knew he was there was also halfway across the country.

He walked across the room which was only about eight feet from the door to the opposite wall. It was ten feet from wall to wall and nine feet from floor to ceiling.

When he reached the door he took a moment before opening it, hoping not to give off the appearance of someone who hung out in storage lockers, which he did and was rather unbecoming of a bigshot crime boss.

He opened the door and was surprised to see a colleague who, to his knowledge was unaware of this particular hiding spot.

"Ah, Lust, right? Nice to see you again. What are you doing here?" he said I what he hoped was a casual yet in control tone.

The woman before him, wearing a long black dress and elbow length gloves. Her pale face was adorned with black lipstick, and her hair was long and wavy.

She smiled at Edward and he thought to himself that, while she was very beautiful, he'd have to see her when she was actually genuinely emoting, because the emotion behind that smile did not reassure him and did in fact, leave him concerned and unsettled.

"Yes that's right, Lust the Lascivious, but for the purpose of our encounters you will be calling me Solaris."

Edward did not feel as pleased as he knew others would be in his shoes.

"And what do these encounters entail, precisely?" He asked, feeling worried about anything pertaining to the rest of her dangerous cabal.

"You are going to follow me to the hospital. We'll be there to talk to Jean Havoc." She explained simply.

Edward was still confused. "Why do you need me? Why not go by yourself?"

She let out a cold emotionless laugh. "Silly boy. You are going to be holding me hostage. Havoc is in love with me. We'll be meeting tomorrow afternoon. Don't be late."

Edward was feeling even worse at the prospect of this because he knew that holding a defenseless woman hostage would damage his reputation.

He looked her in the eyes before nodding his head, reconciling with the idea knowing that he would rather damage his reputation than his body knowing that the actual embodiment of bloodlust was probably nothing to be reckoned with.

She showed her teeth in what could be described as a smile, if the describer was a blind man. "I knew you'd quickly come to agree with me. Well than, Goodbye Edward" she walked out of the door leaving the door open for Edward to close behind her.

He checked his watch before swearing and rushing out the door himself.

Envy was feeling proud of himself for being able to slip his folder into the applicant pile.

He was pleased that he had made it into the final filter.

He was Ecstatic that he'd received an interview.

And he was overjoyed that he'd gotten the job.

He arrived first day in the standard uniform with a small box of personal effects, which weren't necessary for sentimental value so much as the appearance of sentiment.

He arrived at an empty desk and greeted the person closest to him, an older man with white hair.

"Hello there Sir, I am Second Lieutenant William Winston. It's nice to make your acquaintance." Envy made sure to give off the appearance of a rigid young soldier, from his arrow straight posture to his perfectly ironed uniform. For added effect he had even put his hair shorter than he'd had it since Cornello. He felt the look was doing wonders for the perception of him.

"You're the newbie? The Colonel wants to see you 'Immediately' he says that it's important." Fallman told the recruiter who nodded and then asked where the Colonel's office was, sir.

After finding his way to the only other door in the room aside from the one out, William knocked on the door three times.

"Come in" was the reply from the other side of the door.

There were two people in the room, a blonde woman with her hair pulled back, in a standard uniform and a skirt. And also, a man with dark hair styled to look messy, with slanted eyes similar to William's own. He was in the same uniform from the waist up. William couldn't tell from the waist down.

"Ah, Second Lieutenant. I understand you will be filling Havocs position?" The man behind the desk started.

William smiled shyly and nodded. "Uh yeah Sir. I applied and- You know what… Can I just say it is an honor that I'm going to be working with the hero of the eastern rebellion?"

From Mustangs point of view, the new guy who Lieutenant Hawkeye had made special care to say was very capable, was a bootlicker.

"Yeah yeah, You're being briefed on the Elric case."

William feigned surprise. "Oh I see. Right."

He took a seat unprompted and immediately focused up.

Mustang pulled a fat file out from a drawer in his desk and slapped it on the desk.

"This is all that we have on the mayhem his group gets up to. We have no clue on the motives. No one knows what they want. No one knows where they base. The only big player in their group who we know for absolute certain about is the Tringham brothers, and of course Elric buy we don't know a lot about him aside from that he's a kid a little younger than twenty, and he's from a small town called Risembool. None of the locals were too loose lipped about him though…" he paused a moment to collect his thoughts. "We think he might be paying the townspeople but we've got no way of proving that. We had some people surveilling the town and it looks like they have a group that heads twice a year to the Rockbell Automail shop. We tried to search the premises but nothing turned up. We think they've got an alchemist." As the Colonel was saying all of this he had removed several photographs from the file.

The first was a picture of three young children all smiling widely.

Next was a picture of a stone floor covered in blood and chalk.

Another was a picture of the crushed in windshield of a van and beside it was a picture of Jean Havoc's wound. A six inch long shard of glass sticking out of his lower spinal column.

Finally was a portrait of two adults and two children.

William tried not to show a reaction to the picture but both the Colonel and Riza caught the quick intake of breath and the slight flush that showed on his face.

"Are these people familiar, Second Lieutenant Winston?" the Colonel asked, and after a minute William responded.

"No… He just looks so innocent in this picture. I can't imagine how he became…"

Mustang nodded. "How he became Edward Elric. Alright Second Lieutenant. You go talk to Fuery about what needs doing in the Elric case."

William walked out of the room and Riza and Roy shared a look.

"I don't trust him, sir." Riza said once the door was fully closed.

Mustang closed one eye and fixed a look at The first Lieutenant. "I don't either but he was brought on at the recommendation of the Fuhrer. Maybe Bradley's testing us? Or he's putting a spy in our midst. For whatever reason I couldn't say. Regardless, I think I'll just have to have Maes follow up on him."

Martel was in a large wooden crate in a warehouse.

This was obviously not ideal but she couldn't exactly rectify that.

Every three hours a slot opened in the wood and a glass of water, a piece of bread, and some sort of starch. One day it was pasta, another it was mashed potatoes, et cetera, et cetera.

A week and a half after she'd been stuck in the crate she felt it shift and shake. She soon realised she was moving.

Martel considered screaming but decided against it as she didnt know where she was being taken, and by whom.

It was a forty minute drive before the crate was removed from the crate and then set down.

Martel heard three sharp knocks and then the creaking of an opening door.

"Oh! My package arrived. How wonderful." Was what the only voice Martel had heard in eleven days said.

The voice sounded like it belonged to an old woman.

She felt the crate moving and then being set on the ground gently.

There was nothing else for ten minutes except for the smell of meat cooking.

And then she heard two men arguing. As they got closer she recognised one of the voices. That was the man who had killed greed.

She was angry and scared. Angry about what had happened to Greed, scared about what would happen to her.

She heard the sound of creaking wood and then light filled the box.

Looking at her was a man with long blond hair and golden eyes.

He smiled. She felt sick.

"Hello Martel. My name is Edward Elric.

And Martel felt sicker. She decided against opening her mouth for fear of throwing up.

"Don't wanna talk? I understand. Feel free to go into the kitchen and have some of the food."

Martel uncertainly stood and walked in the direction she thought was the kitchen.

There was a fairly large table covered in food. There was a whole roast and several different kinds of bird, there were salads, artichokes, fruits of every kind. There was also an assortment of drinks.

"What is all this?" Martel asked the blond man who had followed her into the kitchen.

"I'm having a celebration here later but after I heard what William had put you through I figured you could use something to eat. I can't imagine someone who doesn't need to eat would really have any kind of understanding what us humans eat, eh?"

Martel realised he was trying to be funny but couldn't find it in her to laugh.

She walked towards a table and grabbed one of the turkeys and a gravy boat and sat down at the head of the table.

Edward followed her and grabbed a bottle of something and a plate with a steak and a salad on it.

He then set his food down next to Martel.

"I am truly sorry for how William treated you. I need you to know that I only just found out that that was where you were."

Martel looked at him and then down to her food, and began to eat.

Edward opened the bottle of apple cider and poured two glasses. He pushed one over to Martel.

She glared at him and continued to eat.

She finished the turkey, and then a good half of the roast and most of the cider before pushing her plate away.

"Okay, spill. What do you want from me?" She questioned the young blond who had finished most of his salad, and half of his steak, but had forgotten both and instead chose to marvel at her eating.

The blond pushed his plate away as well and turned to her.

"Martel, I want you to join us. i think we would benefit from having someone of your abilities with us." Edward told her tactfully.

Martel, who had been picking her teeth, paused.

"Ha! My abilities? Just say chimera, kid. If that's why I'm here you should just kill me because I'm not joining you after what your guys did to Greed."

Edward steepled his hands and leaned forward.

"Not because you're a chimera, Martel. Because you are a veteran. You have firsthand experience with the military from the inside. As for Greed, he's still alive. He was reprimanded and then put to work with me. And I wouldn't have killed you anyway. I was annoyed when Nash and William killed that man. It's distasteful."

Martel was happy to hear about Greed but perturbed at the lack of interest at her being a chimera. Not upset. Maybe a bit… happy? But perturbed.

"Yeah? What about Rhoa? He was ex-military? And Bido? And Dolcetto! They were all ex-military! And your men killed them."

Edward leaned back in his chair and let out a long exhale. "Rhoa is the only one who was killed. He threatened Nash and Nash reacted in a stupid way. He will be punished for it though, and I'm very sorry about what happened there."

"That doesn't excuse the fact that you torched our base." Martel told Ed, crossing her arms and frowning.

"I did that for your guy's sake. The military has had their eyes on you longer than we have. Why do you think that Jean Havoc approached you? They'll assume that everyone died in the fire. In fact, according to my guy on the inside, you are the only one they don't know about, so even if you don't wanna work with us, you can go on and live your life however you want. We won't interfere." Edward smiled a small smile, and held out his hand. "So what do you say?"

Martel sighed. "Fine." She stood up. "You guys got somewhere I can sleep?" Edward smiled.

He Led her to a room at the end of a hallway opposite the door in the kitchen.

"If you need anything, mine and Envy's room is across the hall."

With that Edward left Martel at her door and entered the room in front of hers.

She stood in the hall before entering her room.

She walked into the room and looked it around for a minute.

There was a large writing desk and a large bed. There was also a dresser. she opened it to find several black shirts and pants.

She turned to see what looked like a closet door.

She was surprised to find when she opened the door there was actually a bathroom inside. There was a large round mirror with an ouroboros on the border. It reminded Martel of Greed.

She looked herself over in the mirror for a minute, noting scars, burns and even one or two bite marks.

Edward had climbed out if his shared room and ran to the hospital.

He arrived after lust who was standing in the doorway to the hospital.

"What held you up?" She asked frowning slightly.

Edward who was panting looked up at her and frowned right back. "I had to put out some fires with someone who, according to my intelligence, is that guy Havoc's girlfriend."

Lust snorted. "Right well whatever, let's go then."

Lust walked into the hospital followed by Edward.

Edward had a hood pulled up to cover his face and was wearing red glasses to cover his eyes.

Lust sauntered up to the desk. "Uh hello Miss, I'm visiting a patient by the name of Havoc. Do you know what his room number is?"

The woman behind the desk flicked through a catalog before looking back up to Lust.

"Okay, and what is your relationship with second lieutenant Havoc?" The woman behind the desk asked.

"Oh I'm his girlfriend." Lust smiled charmingly.

The woman behind the desk inhaled sharply. Before smiling a clearly artificial smile. "Really? Another one?"

Lust looked shocked.

"Excuse me what do you mean another one?" She demanded angrily while distracting the nurse long enough for a Edward to walk past and stand by the elevator.

The woman held up her hands in a placating gesture. "It's not my place to say but, Miss, err, you're the second girlfriend to visit him. He's also had a rather attractive man in his room for at least an hour."

Lust's eyes widened and she put her hand to her chest, her other hand on the counter.

"Well that- I. I've got to speak with him about this at once."

The woman behind the desk reached out and held Lust's hand for a moment before pointing her towards the elevator.

Lust arrived at the elevator where Edward was standing smirking.

"What was that about?" He asked Lust, laughter clear in his voice.

"I don't know." she responded in a peculiar tone.

Edward laughed real, and loud for a minute.

"I do." He wiped a tear from his eye before pointing to her hand, which was still closed. "Check in there."

Lust opened her hand and was surprised to find a slip of paper in it. On it was a smiley face and a phone number.

Lust blushed. "Huh."

Edward laughed some more and then leaned forward and clicked the floor number.


End file.
